Fortune Cookies of Three, Give It to Me!

First, I know what you’re thinking… Amanda, were three fortune cookies really necessary? To that I say: a. rude, b. they wouldn’t give you three if you weren’t supposed to eat all of them… immediately… without sharing (duh), and c. I wouldn’t be publicizing the details of my gluttony unless there was a much bigger story here that had to be told.

With that out of the way, I can begin. This story, like all of the classics, unfolds cookie by scrumptiously crunchy cookie…

1. “Life is a series of choices. Today yours are good ones.” I can only imagine they’re referring to my choice of Chinese takeout for dinner… perhaps to my (ill-fated, according to my tummy) decision to eat all three fortune cookies in one sitting… or, maybe this is cookie #1’s sly way of suggesting that I make the ‘good choice’ today of taking cookie #2’s advice on what I should do tomorrow, something like:

2. “Do something unusual tomorrow.” Well, that goes without saying… I always do something particularly unusual on the last Wednesday in the 8th month of even calendar years… but, just for the sake of argument, what if I were on the fence about doing something unusual tomorrow? Or overwhelmed by the choice of exactly which unusual thing to do? Honestly, cookie #2, I really don’t see why I should take your advice (aside from the impressive fact that you’re clearly in cahoots with cookie #1, who so cleverly buttered me up by pre-praising my decision to do so). Perhaps:

3. “You will attend an unusual party and meet someone important.” My apologies, cookie #2! You were clearly a setup for cookie #3. I shouldn’t have gotten heated with you.

It’s all so clear… I’m going to make the good choice today to do something unusual tomorrow, specifically: attending an unusual party and meeting someone important! Cookie(s), you’re as brilliant as you are tasty.

Now, I think we can all agree that Tai Chi Chinese wins the award for most persuasive fortune cookies in the history of the world ever. But more importantly, I also think there’s a lesson in here for all of us. There is only one way to avoid spending your Tuesday night fretting over important people that you’re supposed to meet at upcoming mystery parties, and that to request four fortune cookies every time you order takeout. Always four.

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4 thoughts on “Fortune Cookies of Three, Give It to Me!

  1. Nora says:

    I’ll keep the comment to myself about the game of adding ‘in bed’ to the end of all fortunes, too late…no one should feel bad about eating 3 fortune cookies, they’re a perfectly light dessert (it’s not like you had three brownie sundaes, which I could still justify as being ok). Plus who can resist the fortune, and those are some amazing ones! Though part of me thinks you should do something ‘usual’ today just to stick it to the second one.

    • Amanda says:

      11:54 pm and all signs point to a wholly ‘usual’ day. Planning to save the ‘unusual’ for tonight’s fantasy football draft by throwing a couple surprise (read: totally random and chosen based solely on likability of name) into the mix.

      I may also attempt a handstand.

      Just kidding. Nobody worry, these feet aren’t going anywhere.

  2. Icek says:

    Fourth Cookie: Someone important will hit on you at an unusual party.

    • Amanda says:

      Hm… so I should be looking for an unusual party filled with important adulterous or blind people? Check. I hope they’re ready to walk away dejected. Maybe I should bring along a fifth cookie to soften the blow.

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