I know… I promised some grade-A midlife crisis freakout scribbles. And I hate to disappoint (because even I was looking forward to reading it and making fun of myself). Unfortunately, I may have accidentally processed all of my irrational age-related fears in a boorishly healthy manner prior to my birthday… so this post might be a little heavy on the positive outlook and opportunities for growth front.
Again, my apologies.
Actually we can blame it on Adobe’s free version of photoshop for the iPhone. I’ve realized that there is nothing to worry about when embarking on a whole new decade when I can just demand that every photo taken of me ever be overlaid in Warm Vintage III:
See how healthy and lovely I look? That’s a woman who’s ready for all the enlightenment and body-acceptance falsely promised to accompany her 30s!
Those of you who’ve ridden the roller coaster of my last two weeks will know that I didn’t slide easily into this 11th hour zen perspective. Out of no where I started losing sleep, questioning the relevance of my existence, zoning out during movies while my own horror-flick montage of a life lived unfulfilled played in my head… and, worst of all, I was plagued with bizarre and taunting dreams… like the most recent in which I had to get to Napa Valley for my birthday but all of the freeways had been replaced with water slides and I was TOO BIG FOR THE FREEWAY WATER SLIDE.
No one deserves that. Well, I wasn’t about to let my 30th birthday break me. Birthdays can smell fear (or is that cats? babies?)… anyway, never let them see you sweat!
Luckily, with my good friends Warm Vintage III and a new pair of Gap True Straight (cough, stretch) jeans I feel both ready and optimistic about this next chapter. Maybe all this age-related wisdom is just the comfort that comes from being around the block long enough to know what you can change, what you can’t change, and what you can purchase in the event that all else fails.
I guess we’ll see how I feel about it next week.
For now, peace out 20s… it’s been real. College, foreign travels, a great job, the best friends, and my perfect match. So much to be thankful for, but so much more to look forward to.